Reasons to Live in the USA

As opposed to living in Thailand, of course.

1. No pit vipers in your mailbox, ever.

2. You can drink the tap water.

3. No need to run the air conditioning 24/7/365. At least not in Michigan.

4. Packages arrive when mailed to you.

5. Actual seasons.

6. Fritos.

7. No International Gateway restricting Internet 3 meg access to .5 meg (at best!) for US sites.

8. Kindle Whispernet.

9. Fragrance free products (read: allergies)

10. That creepy doorman at The Mall who I always felt compelled to sprint past only to hear him call after me: "Welcome to The Mall...enjoy your day...good luck to you sir...farewell, my sweet prince...etc. etc.".